I just don't know what I'm after... ain't that the truth...
The boys are away and the cats will play... no really.. not really...
Out tonight. L and I caught some drinks at the Piano Bar and wandered around Oakland with Ron (Righteous Omniscient Neurotic) and that was fun. So then we came home and acted like it was a slumber party.

Who can blame us? The boys are fishing. They are gone. Tomorrow night we are going into the City to go dancing. That should be fun. Maybe sublounge, maybe luna lounge, maybe somewhere completely different.

I'm so glad that in all of these years L & I have remained friends. She said, put that in your poetry and smoke it and I have ever since then... years now... and I love it. As much as I complain, I'm not sure I would change my life. Maybe my house, but not my life.

97%.

Here is a poem. For all the non existent audiences of the world...

I am 16 going on 17…

before, when things were simpler, I was
unaware that change really meant different
and things really were scintillating
beyond whatever it was I really believed.

Before,
when things were
littler
in scope and specter
I watched what meant truth like
fair was a reality you could finger and jerk

I try and explain things three ways.
This is what I see of me.
What you see, this is what you have.
What you take.
Which, by take, I mean carry
way into the deepest substratum
beyond
and before
and within
and holding
and scolding
and smoldering

until every glance is clear.

02/18/2005